Disconnected

A large part of my lack of connection when we're away comes from the fact we were away from each other for so long, and didn't have contact at all for some time. And then my internet problem came up, and even though you're better now, we haven't been able to talk daily like we used to. I remember feeling connected to you before, so I think once we get back into our normal schedules that feeling will come back to where it was. It's just been unfortunate coincidence after coincidence.

To keep the disconnect from continuing, barring any other unforeseen event, I think we should make an effort to talk every day like we used to. Part of it is that I do have a need for attention and it does disconnect us a bit when we don't talk.

I really should have posted this earlier but once the internet was back up I wanted to talk to all my friends and everything. I hope you aren't upset I stayed up this late.

What I want in a domme

There are really a lot of things to say about that. I guess the main reason I want a domme is because it feels nice having one. I feel safe, protected, secure, loved, wanted, needed... But as for specific qualities in a domme, I'm not sure I know completely. I've roleplayed all about it before, but it's completely different to experience it yourself. And that's what I've been doing since we started. Experiencing it. I'm not sure what other dommes are like, or what qualities they have that you don't. I don't mean to sound like the only qualities I can think of are ones that you have, but I don't know of many others.

One quality I know for sure is important to me is gentleness. Not leniency, but gentleness. I like soft touches a lot, as I'm sure you've figured out. But I also like to be talked gently to, and things like that. Another thing that I want in a domme is general niceness. I wouldn't want a domme that was mean to me, or hurt me all the time. Something else that is nice to have is a domme that is willing to do things for you sometimes. Like how you pay for my monthly event and buy me food all the time. I want a domme who will help me fix some of the problems I have, like procrastinating and setting schedules for myself.

There are the only things that are coming to mind right now. I'm sure there are more, but it took me over an hour just to come up with those, and nothing else is coming to mind. But for sure those are the things that are most important to me in a domme.

At my mom's

I'm visiting my mom for a day or two so I'll be able to post on the blog until I get back. Hopefully by then the internet will be back on, but I'm not counting on it. I think I'll talk to my brother when I get back, and see what's going on. It's taking a really long time after all.

Other than that I'm doing pretty well I guess. I'm a lot more tired today than usual so I'm posting a bit early. The meeting at the Department of Labor went well. It was more of a self-assessment of my skills than anything though. But they also gave me a bunch of new information that I didn't have before, and I signed up for another program at the Department of Labor. Unfortunately I can't do anything with that program until January, because that's when the next orientation is. Hopefully the one I've been doing won't take quite that long, and I'll have a job before I have to resort to the second program.

I go back to them this Tuesday for a follow-up, and then I get scheduled for weekly job search sessions. Those are only supposed to last an hour, as opposed to lasting all day like the meeting did.

Feeling better, sort of

My stomach seems to have settled since yesterday, but now I have a huge headache. I guess my body just doesn't want me to feel good this week. But I lazed around too much yesterday so I decided to get up. Turns out my brother got a new game yesterday, so I decided to play that a bit with him, and later we watched some TV. It sucks that he'll have to move for his new job. Even if the current offer doesn't hold, he'd have to move for the field he wants anyway. So it's only a matter of time. I'm hoping he's going to at least wait until the end of the school year so my niece can finish the current year with her friends and not have to change in the middle. It would be really stressful for her. I'm going to miss them when they go. I'm pretty close to my brother and his family. And I know my niece is going to miss me a lot. I play with her more than anyone, she says. But I think she only says that because I play with her more roughly. I'll pick her up and swing and sway her and no one else does that.

Boring day

Really, really boring. I pretty much stayed in bed all day chatting with people and didn't do anything at all. Actually I've not been feeling too well today. My stomach has been bothering me quite a bit. I hope I'm not coming down with something. I just know I didn't feel like getting up. I didn't even play any of my games today.

I thought about you a lot today though while I was laying there. I really want everything to start getting better. I want you to get out of the hospital and I want me to get a job, I want my psoriasis to get better and I want to go back to school. Places are starting to do temp placements for the holiday season so I can probably get in on that if worse comes to worst.

I -still- haven't heard from the Department of Labor. I have no idea what's going on with that. I should have gotten a letter from them weeks ago.

Couldn't get a hold of you

I tried calling today but you didn't pick up. I don't want to bother you so I didn't try calling again. I just hate that we're spending so much time apart because of this, and I really hate not knowing when the next time I'm going to see you is. I still haven't been able to fix the ring since I can't go out and buy another cord, but I'm still keeping it in my wallet to make absolutely sure it doesn't get lost somewhere. I worry if I just keep it in my pocket it'll slip out somehow. It happens with my phone a lot, so I can imagine it might with the ring, and I would hate for that to happen.

I talked to my mom today and she's going to get my medicine tomorrow, which is good because tomorrow is when I'm due for my next shot anyway. It's still getting a lot better by the way. Maybe another month before it's gone, or at least mostly gone. That's what I hope at least. The sooner it's better the sooner I'll be able to feel normal in public again.

Hard to believe

I can't believe you're back in the hospital again. I mean I knew I saw the infection there and everything, but I still hate that you already had to go back when you only just got out. I'll try and come visit when I can. Hopefully you won't be in as long as you were last time, and when you get out you'll be feeling a lot better. It's just terrible is all that this all had to happen to you again.

My sleep schedule is all off track again. I tried taking a nap and for some reason my phone didn't wake me up when I wanted it to, so I overslept. Past few hours I've been playing a new online game with one of my online friends, so I guess that's kind of fun.

Maybe if Kathleen's heading out there I can come over tomorrow. I'd like to spend at least a little time with you this week.