Didn't call today either

I feel like such a wuss. I feel scared to call and check how you're doing. I want to know for sure that you're okay but I don't want to risk hearing that something bad has happened. I miss you so much. I hate being apart like this for so long. I don't hear from you, I don't see you... It's awful. It doesn't feel right. We've never been out of contact like this before. I mean we've sometimes gone a day or two without talking, but not very often, and never, ever a whole week.

I guess what I hate the most is that it could be weeks before you get out. Weeks before things get back to normal for us.

Back at dad's

I didn't call today either. I guess I'm a little scared of hearing worse news after last time. I'll definitely call tomorrow though.

It's gotten really hard to write these entries lately. My days aren't very interesting and I haven't talked to you in... It's been almost a week. I haven't talked to you at all since Wednesday, and last I heard from Kathleen you were in the ICU... I miss you and I'm really really worried about you. I went back through all my entries since you got in the hospital. Next week and it'll have been a whole month since you went into the hospital. And it feels like forever since I've seen you last. It's one of very few times since we started being together that we've gone that long without seeing each other. I don't like it very much.

Hope you're okay

I really should have called Kathleen so she could tell me how you're doing. I hate thinking that you're in pain. She mentioned that they're keeping you really drugged but I know it probably still hurts

I go back to my dad's tomorrow. My mom went out and bought me some nice clothes for when I have an interview or something like that. Hopefully getting a job won't take much longer. I really hope you don't have to stay there too much longer. I'm sure you're tired of the hospital.

Oh wow

I called you today and I got Kathleen on the phone instead. She said you're in the ICU. I'm really worried now. I hope you're okay right now. She said you're on a ventilator, or you were on one, or something. I'm worried. I don't want anything to happen to you but there's nothing I can do about it. I wish I could come visit. Hopefully Kathleen will call me next time she's going over there so I can see you too.

I went over to my mom's today, before I knew all this was happening. She's not staying though. Instead she's going over to her boyfriend's house, so I'm going to be here by myself. My sister is staying at my dad's while I'm here. The privacy is nice, but I get the feeling that I'm going to be bored a lot of the time.

I really hope you're going to be okay. I hate worrying like this without knowing what's happening. I wish I could see you.

Didn't hear from you

My phone was dead from most of the day so I didn't call. Besides I figure you're still resting from yesterday. I don't want to be a bother. I really miss having the ring. I should have come to the hospital to get it back as soon as I could. Maybe next time Kathleen goes over there I can come with her to get it. It doesn't feel right without it. Even if it's just being in my pocket at least I have it. But right now I don't and I really want it back.

I'm going over to my mom's tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it quite as much as I could because there isn't much there to do without my computer, but I'm bringing my laptop so there won't be nothing. That reminds me I really need to fix my desktop. I need to buy a $40-60 part. I'm not sure exactly how much it is since I haven't looked it up. All the more reason to get a job.

Hope the Surgery went okay

I don't really want to bother you since you're probably resting. I'll call you tomorrow and see how you are. It really sucks that all this had to happen... I wish there was something I could do for you now. But it is nice to know that when you get out I can do a lot. I'll be sure to do anything and everything I can for you. I really, really miss talking to you every day.

It's been another pretty lazy day. My mom called and I'm going to be going over to her house this week. It'll be nice to visit her. I've only gone over to hr house once or twice since I moved to my dad's.

Glad I talked to you

Even if it wasn't for a particularly long time or about anything specific it was really nice talking to you today. I've felt like I haven't gotten to very much lately, even though I stayed with you just before I went to my event. I guess it's because we can't talk every day. It makes me a little lonely I guess. Still I'm glad you're doing alright. I'm sure you're ready to get out of the hospital. I'm definitely going to come visit when you are. What kind of sub would I be if I wasn't there when you needed me?

It feels weird not wearing my ring. I'm not freaking out or anything, because I know it's with you and safe, but every time I feel my chest it's weird not to have the ring there. I need to get another cord so I can start wearing it again, once I get it back.