Decent Day

I hope the topical agents from the dermatologist will help me. The more medicine I can use to control the psoriasis the better. I really don't have anything to talk about this time. I looked at the list, and I did do my hair today. I took my vitamins, ate a vegetable, used the oral rinse... Everything.

I talked to my dad today. I mentioned the minifridge, and he was definitely interested. I'd like to bring it next time I go to your house.

Just Random Thoughts

There's nothing particularly pressing on my mind so I'm going to write about whatever comes to mind. Probably won't turn out too well, but we'll see.

These are the things I'm glad about. I'm glad that you let me get that chocolate for my sister. She really appreciated it. So did my sister in law, and my brother, and my niece. Pretty much everyone got a piece and really liked it. I'm glad I was able to get your headlight to work. Now you can drive late and not have to worry about getting a ticket or something. Plus I got to show you that I'm good at figuring things out even if I have no idea where to start. I'm also glad that your debit card works. It's no good to use your credit card for everything. It causes a lot of problems. Besides it's usable in more places.

These are the things I'm upset about. I'm upset we didn't get to have sex because of my psoriasis. It's terrible that we have to deal with that constantly. And it's terrible I can't give you what you want because of it. I'm upset that I don't have a job yet. That needs to change soon. I need a job with benefits so that I can treat problem 1.

I guess that's really all there is to talk about this time. I took my vitamins and I had the V8 while I was at your house. I did my hair, and I'll do it tomorrow too. I didn't get a list in my email so I guess you haven't sent it. But I'm waiting for it so that I can finally be sure every day that I did everything I was supposed to.

Trust

It's a funny little thing isn't it? So important to everything. And it's really obvious when it's not there. You could tell there was something different, even when I couldn't. I'm glad we were able to figure out exactly what was wrong. Now that I see it I can work to be better. I can go back to being submissive because I know everything will be taken care of. I felt my submissiveness coming back as I was talking to you earlier. I was a little upset that we didn't get to talk later though. You didn't text me back when I told you he was here, or when I said he was gone. It said you were online but you didn't respond. I'm hoping you aren't mad at me, but I think if you were you would have told me, so I'll try not to worry about it.

I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow so we can talk about all of this. I definitely feel a lot better about where we're going after talking today. I know I don't need to feel defensive with you. And now that I know that's what I've been doing, I promise you that I'll stop.

About Earlier

I was really frustrated earlier. I felt annoyed with myself because I forgot something else. Because I keep making little mistakes like that. It frustrated me because I didn't know how to fix it. I knew you wanted me to do something or you wouldn't have kept talking about it so seriously, but I didn't know what. I didn't know what to say, so I apologized. But that's not what you wanted. And after that I ran out of ideas. But it wasn't over because we kept talking about it, but I still didn't know what to do. I kept getting more and more frustrated because of it because I wanted to make it right but I didn't know how. And then you explained it to me and it was okay after that.

It wouldn't be such a big deal to me if I wasn't so worried about making you disappointed. I don't want to do anything wrong. I hate knowing that you're disappointed because of something I did. Even if you weren't this time, it still felt like you were at the time.

I hope that helps you make some sense of why I was so frustrated. Even if it wasn't a good reason.

Where are You?

I thought it was bad yesterday only being able to talk to you once. I wasn't able to reach you at all yesterday. I didn't see you log in and you didn't answer your phone. I'm worried. The only time you did this before was when I did something wrong. I don't know if you're doing it on purpose or not, and if you are, I don't know what I did wrong. I need to know because it's terrible not knowing if I did something wrong or not. I really hope I didn't and I guess for now that's all I can do.

I masturbated for the first time in several weeks today. Usually you were asking for sex often enough that I didn't need to, but now that I'm away again I have to do it myself. It's a different feeling than sex, for sure. But not better or worse I don't think. I guess I had forgotten what relaxing by yourself felt like. I miss our time together though. Maybe when you get back we can go out or something. We don't have to go to your house. We can just stay out all day and go shopping or something.

I still haven't heard anything about the job at Candler. I'm thinking I should start looking for another job, at the very least while I wait for a response at this one. I can't really afford to just wait for this one, especially if it isn't guaranteed. Maybe Parker's, or somewhere like that. I'm not too picky as long as I'm not working fast food, or construction work or something like that.

I'm doing alright though. I hope you're having a fun time in Texas. I had some lettuce on a chicken sandwich today. I took my vitamins, and I remembered to do my hair.

I Miss You

I guess I was gone too long and you had already gone to sleep. I really miss being near you. It's like something is missing from my life. Actually it's not even LIKE something is missing. Something IS missing from my life. Nothing in my life is as fulfilling as my time with you. I feel empty and alone without you. I hope when you get back from Texas I can come visit you, even if I can't stay for days on end like I have been. Even if it's just for a little while I want to see you. I don't really have anything to talk about but I wanted you to know how much I missed you. I've been thinking about you all day. I'm going to try and call you tomorrow. I hope when I do you're not busy so we can talk for a long time. My mom bought me more minutes, so we can talk and talk and talk. I'm looking forward to it.

Lazy Day

Today was really... boring. I'm missing my time with you more and more. I played games all day, and did a couple of chores for my sister before my brother and his family got back. I didn't get to talk to you as much as I wanted. By the time I got back from greeting my brother you were already gone. And when I saw you message me later, you didn't respond. I was a little sad, but I guess you were busy. It sounded like you were having fun over in Texas so I was glad about that.

I hope we get to talk more tomorrow than we did today. I've missed you and talking to you so little just made me miss you more. I took my vitamins and I had another carrot from my brother's fridge. Maybe tomorrow will be more interesting. I hope I have something to do. Maybe you could give me some things to do? If you can think of anything. It might help me feel more submissive while you're gone if I do things for you, plus it will keep me occupied. Just something to think about.