Truth

I wish it was easier for me to be completely honest. To not worry about your feelings. Especially knowing that I'll probably have to say things that won't be so nice. It's even a bit scary. I hate not being nice. It's like... giving up something I worked really hard to get. Because there was a point in time where I didn't know how to empathize with people. I didn't understand that I could say things that would hurt people's feelings. Or rather, I didn't know how to tell when I was going to. I would come out and say whatever I was thinking with no filter. I had to go to a therapist to teach me how to censor what I say. How to make bad things sound nicer, or when lying is okay. Or when not to say anything at all. I worked hard to learn that skill. To get that filter that most people seem to be born with. It's scary for me to take it down.

I'm not asking for you to let me not be honest, though. I know it's important to you, and to our relationship. I just wanted you to know why it's so hard for me. But I promise I'm going to stick to my word. I'm going to be 100% honest from now on. If I can't do that, then I can't be yours.