Submission and Initiative

There's a pretty big difference between me wanting to do something and you telling me to do it. Obviously when you tell me to do something, I want to do it because you told me to. But me wanting to do something on my own... All that means is it's something I want. Firstly that means it's less important to me than what you tell me to. Because when you tell me I can't do something, or I have to do something, I won't always want to. But my desire to obey you exceeds that. So you can tell me to do something I don't necessarily want, and I'll still do it. To certain limits of course.

But again it's different when I want to do something for you on my own. To me at least, it's a lot more meaningful. It means that's where my heart is, and not just you telling me where my heart is. I like having my own wants beyond what's asked of me. It makes my devotion to you much more important and meaningful, because I'm putting you above myself. Whereas otherwise I wouldn't have anything to put you above. You would be at the top because there's nothing to compete with.

I guess the easiest example of this is you telling me I can't roleplay for a while. Of course my desire to roleplay still exists. If it didn't, it wouldn't be a punishment. But I still do it because I want to obey. But when I want to do something on my own, it's means everything. Like when I sat at your feet. I didn't just do that because you said you would like it. I wanted to. I wanted to be there, so that's where I went. And I felt so happy being there. And it was special to me because I wanted it.

It might just be that I like things more when it's something I want. It could really be just that simple. Of course, sometimes I do want things that are just done for me. Like a blowjob, or being fucked... Or getting tied up, or being kissed. But those are things I want too. Even if it's things I want done to me, it's still things I want. And there are things that I want to do. I want to sit at your feet, I want to kiss your neck, and your breasts... I want to make you come in every way I can. I want to make you happy, and I want to bring you coffee. I want to make you proud of me.

But sometimes it's okay for things to happen that I don't want, if it helps towards something I do. Above all, I am your sub. And if I have to do things I don't want to make you happy, I can deal with that. And do them with a smile. I don't need more of a reason than that. The only reason I need is that I'm yours in every way.