Back at my Dad's

The party wasn't as fun as I was expecting. There wasn't much for me to eat there, and I was feeling too tired to be very sociable. It wasn't really much of a party, more of a family get-together for Halloween.

It was nice spending more time with you while I was there, even if it was just a couple days. I can come back any time after Tuesday, and I will probably want to as soon as I can. Even though I don't have as much to do over there, I still prefer it because you're there. I like spending time with you. Laying with you, cuddling, talking, everything. It's very, very nice to be with you.

Didn't hear from you

I tried calling you today but you didn't pick up. I guess you were resting or something. It's a little unusual that you didn't call back though, so I hope everything is alright. I'll try again tomorrow, more than just once.

My psoriasis is getting SO much better. My chest and stomach are only a light pink and the flaking is almost gone. I don't feel any scales on my scalp, and the little scales scattered across my body are getting smaller. I'm really, really happy about it. I'm sure soon I could get a job and not have to worry about trying to hide it.

I hope I can come back over soon! I really like spending time with you. I should fix my sleep schedule though, so I can spend more time with you instead of sleeping. I actually feel kind of bad for sleeping so much over there. It really felt like I didn't spend enough time with you.

Feels like it's been a while

Even though I was only just there yesterday it feels like it's been three or four days since I've seen you. Maybe I'm just off today, I don't know. But it really feels like it's been a while.

I hope I can come back over soon. After all, the only reason I needed to come home at all was because I was due for my next injection. And of course, now I've gotten it so I can come back whenever someone can get me.

I really need to fix my sleep schedule. Even though it's already past 1 I know I'm going to be up for several more hours. It isn't good for me to do this, so I'm going to try and go to sleep a bit early, and wake up early too. Maybe I'll be able to fix it in a day or two.

Going to call tomorrow, no matter what

I've decided that not knowing anything is worse than learning that something bad has happened. So I've decided that I'm going to call tomorrow when I wake up. Maybe give myself a couple minutes to get ready, but not more than that.

I really hope that you're doing okay. If you are then I promise to come see you soon. You're probably lonely in the hospital. I should stay the night again. I'm sure that would do us both some good, getting to see each other again. I probably can't if you're still in the ICU though. But at worst I could at least see you to make us both feel better. And I would love to talk to you.

Didn't call today either

I feel like such a wuss. I feel scared to call and check how you're doing. I want to know for sure that you're okay but I don't want to risk hearing that something bad has happened. I miss you so much. I hate being apart like this for so long. I don't hear from you, I don't see you... It's awful. It doesn't feel right. We've never been out of contact like this before. I mean we've sometimes gone a day or two without talking, but not very often, and never, ever a whole week.

I guess what I hate the most is that it could be weeks before you get out. Weeks before things get back to normal for us.

Back at dad's

I didn't call today either. I guess I'm a little scared of hearing worse news after last time. I'll definitely call tomorrow though.

It's gotten really hard to write these entries lately. My days aren't very interesting and I haven't talked to you in... It's been almost a week. I haven't talked to you at all since Wednesday, and last I heard from Kathleen you were in the ICU... I miss you and I'm really really worried about you. I went back through all my entries since you got in the hospital. Next week and it'll have been a whole month since you went into the hospital. And it feels like forever since I've seen you last. It's one of very few times since we started being together that we've gone that long without seeing each other. I don't like it very much.

Hope you're okay

I really should have called Kathleen so she could tell me how you're doing. I hate thinking that you're in pain. She mentioned that they're keeping you really drugged but I know it probably still hurts

I go back to my dad's tomorrow. My mom went out and bought me some nice clothes for when I have an interview or something like that. Hopefully getting a job won't take much longer. I really hope you don't have to stay there too much longer. I'm sure you're tired of the hospital.

Oh wow

I called you today and I got Kathleen on the phone instead. She said you're in the ICU. I'm really worried now. I hope you're okay right now. She said you're on a ventilator, or you were on one, or something. I'm worried. I don't want anything to happen to you but there's nothing I can do about it. I wish I could come visit. Hopefully Kathleen will call me next time she's going over there so I can see you too.

I went over to my mom's today, before I knew all this was happening. She's not staying though. Instead she's going over to her boyfriend's house, so I'm going to be here by myself. My sister is staying at my dad's while I'm here. The privacy is nice, but I get the feeling that I'm going to be bored a lot of the time.

I really hope you're going to be okay. I hate worrying like this without knowing what's happening. I wish I could see you.

Didn't hear from you

My phone was dead from most of the day so I didn't call. Besides I figure you're still resting from yesterday. I don't want to be a bother. I really miss having the ring. I should have come to the hospital to get it back as soon as I could. Maybe next time Kathleen goes over there I can come with her to get it. It doesn't feel right without it. Even if it's just being in my pocket at least I have it. But right now I don't and I really want it back.

I'm going over to my mom's tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it quite as much as I could because there isn't much there to do without my computer, but I'm bringing my laptop so there won't be nothing. That reminds me I really need to fix my desktop. I need to buy a $40-60 part. I'm not sure exactly how much it is since I haven't looked it up. All the more reason to get a job.

Hope the Surgery went okay

I don't really want to bother you since you're probably resting. I'll call you tomorrow and see how you are. It really sucks that all this had to happen... I wish there was something I could do for you now. But it is nice to know that when you get out I can do a lot. I'll be sure to do anything and everything I can for you. I really, really miss talking to you every day.

It's been another pretty lazy day. My mom called and I'm going to be going over to her house this week. It'll be nice to visit her. I've only gone over to hr house once or twice since I moved to my dad's.

Glad I talked to you

Even if it wasn't for a particularly long time or about anything specific it was really nice talking to you today. I've felt like I haven't gotten to very much lately, even though I stayed with you just before I went to my event. I guess it's because we can't talk every day. It makes me a little lonely I guess. Still I'm glad you're doing alright. I'm sure you're ready to get out of the hospital. I'm definitely going to come visit when you are. What kind of sub would I be if I wasn't there when you needed me?

It feels weird not wearing my ring. I'm not freaking out or anything, because I know it's with you and safe, but every time I feel my chest it's weird not to have the ring there. I need to get another cord so I can start wearing it again, once I get it back.

Not much happening

I didn't hear from you today so I guess you're resting from the surgery. I really hope it went well. If you haven't talked to me by the time you read my blog it would make me very happy to hear from you. I'm going to try and call you when I wake up though. I'll probably eat first.

My psoriasis seems to be getting better and better. I think it will be mostly clear by the end of the month. I'm really happy about that. I'm still waiting on a letter from the Department of Labor. It was supposed to be here by now, but it hasn't arrived so I think I should call them tomorrow too, after I talk to you.

My dad still hasn't hooked up the larger fridge and I'm starting to get really annoyed with him about it. He keeps saying he has to buy some things to set up a place to put it but I think he's just procrastinating, since he's had plenty of time to do it. You let me have it so it would be used, not so it could in the middle of the floor and not do anything. I'm going to bring it up to him tomorrow.

Back from the event

Just got back from the LARP. It was a lot of fun, but really exhausting. Very little sleep along with lots of physical activity. I think the most sleep I got was around five hours Saturday night, from about 3am to 8am. There were a bunch of new people this event; about 10 new faces out of a total of 40 people. Some of them aren't going to come back, but I know some of them will. It's a nice thought that we're becoming a lot more popular. There were a couple of bad points about the event though, neither of them having to do with the event itself. While I was running away from some people I got caught in some high grass filled with thorns. I scratched my legs up pretty badly. And yesterday I got lost in the woods for about an hour, alone, at night. It wasn't very pleasant. But overall it was a good event. It's nice having a monthly get together with almost all my friends in one place. That's always the best part.

I hope you're doing alright. I know your surgery is tomorrow so you'll probably be sleeping all day. I tried calling you tonight but you didn't pick up, so I guess you were resting for it. I hope it goes well.

A bit of a scare

I had a bit of a scare today. The string I was holding the ring on came undone, or snapped or something and I hadn't noticed. It didn't take long to find, since I had only walked a few places in the house, but I had a small panic attack while looking. But it only took about five, maybe ten minutes to find. Still now I don't have anything to tie it around my neck with. I'm not sure what to do about that. I don't exactly have another cord to hang it from, and I can't seem to find any more string. Though I guess the string was a bad idea in the first place, since it broke.

Other than that today was pretty uneventful. My brother and his wife paid me, like I said. Actually I just looked at my Facebook and people have been messaging me constantly telling me that the next event is THIS weekend. I had no idea. It feels like I was just at one. I have the money to go thanks to my brother but I'm not sure about a ride. I need to call some people and figure that out. It's a good thing I checked or I wouldn't have even known it was so soon. Maybe by the time I get back you'll be out of the hospital, too. That'll be very nice. I miss you, you know.

Didn't hear from you

I was a little disappointed that I didn't hear from you, but I figure you needed your rest, so I didn't want to bother you. I found out I'm going to the Vocational Rehabilitation place at the Department of Labor on Wednesday, so they can help me look for a job. Hopefully they actually can! I've waited around too long for a job. It's pressing on me constantly.

I have a little bit of bad news. The cord for my ring broke. The ring itself is fine, but the cord is broken, so I had to replace it with some string so I could keep wearing it. It's kind of itchy so I hope I can get a new cord soon. I don't want to go without wearing the ring though. That's worse than feeling a little tickly at my neck.

Posting Early

I'm still going to be going to bed at midnight tonight and that's why I'm posting the blog now. I thought I would try to call you today but life had other plans I guess. My phone died and it took forever to charge. I figure you're laying down about now, and I don't want to bother you, so I'll just call tomorrow instead. It's fully charged now.

I miss talking to you every day. I hope you're doing better at least. I don't know when you're supposed to get out of the hospital, I guess I'll ask that when I call you.

I need to find another book to read so that I can keep up with the list. I'm sure my brother will have one for me to borrow. I went ahead and had my mom buy me some more vitamins. She was behind the idea so it didn't really take much convincing.

Sleep

I've decided that tomorrow, no matter what I'm doing, I'm going to bed at midnight. I need to fix my sleep schedule. I can't stay up until morning like I have been. It's not alright.

I didn't hear from you today. I know you don't have a computer, but I was thinking maybe you would call to talk to me. I'll call you instead sometime tomorrow. I'm sure you'll appreciate it.

My dad is starting to pressure me about getting a job. I knew he would, since he knows my brother will likely be moving out in a few months. He's right though. I need a job. I can't just do nothing. I'm not going to school or working. I'm just being a bum right now, and that doesn't sit very well with me. I hope once you're out of the hospital we can really, really work towards fixing it. I don't feel good about myself like this.

Hope You're Okay

I only just realized that you won't be able to read these until you get back from the hospital. I hope that's soon. I want everything to be better for you. You've had too much to deal with.

My brother is going to be going to Florida for a job interview around the 20th this month. It's looking very likely that he's going to be getting this job. I don't really know what that's going to mean for my dad. But I need to get myself a job before then, in case I have to stay with him for a while. I think I can understand how you feel when we don't do the cleaning we set out to do, because I feel the same about not looking for a job when we say we're going to. I imagine it's the same feeling at least.

When you get better we should fix both those. We should clean the whole house and find me a job. That way we both can be satisfied. That would be great.